Jigsaws

The way I see it, people's lives are like a jigsaw (not a box of chocolates!) - lots of individual pieces all making up the sum total of who they are. Each person becomes a product of their past - they are shaped by events and people who scatter this jigsaw.

This is  what happened to me....

Over the years different people have had some of my pieces - some had stolen them and wouldn't give them back, some I’d presented pieces to, but they'd bend, break or lose them and didn’t seem to care.

All my life's energy seems to have been spent trying to keep tabs on all these different pieces, and boy was that hard work cos they were all so far apart. Some even where I had to hunt for them, cos I couldn’t remember where they were or even find them.  

Eventually, when I’d more or less gotten all my pieces back and before I began to get to know myself... I’d keep them in a sellotaped box under a floorboard under my bed, where no-one could mess with them! I just didn’t know what to do with them.

I didn’t trust myself enough to look at my jigsaw pieces. To just see if I could make anything of it. I was scared that it might not fit back together again, and that they'd become scattered again, and even that the picture might not be pretty . Being curious, I eventually sneaked a peek and got the boat right first time, but the grass, mountains and river really foxed me.

Not so long ago I met someone who I thought I might trust enough to share my jigsaw with. I was impressed cos they seemed sure that they knew how it'll look when it's finished.

It's a strange feeling that altho' its not completely finished yet, at least all the pieces are laid out on a board in full view, no longer hidden away and guarded, and I like them being there. I feel they're safe and secure, and will be well looked after. It's a shared jigsaw now and I don’t feel scared.

There is no hurry to finish the jigsaw, there are a hundred and one other things to enjoy... gardening while the weather's fine, picnicking when the sun shines, DIY when I can be arse and painting I’m feeling creative etc.

I have to admit I feel nothing but admiration and gratitude to this wonderful person who often seems to know me better than I could ever know myself... thro' them I have discovered that it's no good trying to wedging the pieces in where they just won't fit - No one but me even touches the jigsaw now. But I am delighted that they still observes me sneaking up to the board every so often and putting one of the pieces into place where it fits so snugly... I can only hope they congratulate himself for 'helping' me work out where it goes! As I congratulate myself for knowing someone who, like Socrates, knew that you cannot teach anyone anything, all you can do is make them think.