i have
to say I think my neighbour's insane... He's one of them guys who's jst down
right odd...Should you ever meet 'David' following my advice he is best
treated with those nifty white jackets with arm straps:- i mean his name is 'David'
and he married a 'Dorothy'.... not odd I hear you say? Well no... but then
they had three kids and named then all starting with 'd's' too!..... I can
jst imagine them now, thinking it was a damn clever and witty idea to name all
their kids so that the whole family started with the letter 'D'.... now THAT'S
odd....
Not
convinced? Need more proof?? hmmm.......
Here’s
one of his nuggets of wisdom - two summers ago when I asked my other
neighbour to water my plants whilst I was on holiday
Need to
water your plants? - attach 8 programmable timers to one tap and your PCs
parallel port and write a C++ widget. What? He's mad I tell you Mad!!!
And as
if you need any more convincing....
- Can't completely own a dog?
- buy shares in one with the in-laws.
- Can't decide about moving house?
- send round the father-in-law with his doglike (in fact is it a dog/ part
owned by me) barometer.
ok
ok.... I might have exaggerated those..... but the first is straight up!
Dotty
David's Garden Improvements
Mad David
has a life scheme where the outcome of his current plan dictates what happens
next.(I think he went on a LEAP training session once and took
it literally). First he boarded up part of his loft - not in the
humble way that you and I would do it. No No.. he moved the water tank, the
access hole/ladder and incorporated a hatch for dropping/raising stuff directly
from roof to the garage. (Which is handy for squatter's access should they
every need or find it) He reinforced everything then moved a
gym and a pinball machine up there for all the 'd' children who now no
longer live at home!!
Next he
built himself a dumper truck/van thing, unfortunately I have no photographic
proof, jst his assurances that he needed one. Unfortunately he did
this whilst doing an extension/conservatory/open barn attached to his
house so there was no room to complete it....... except ...
YES....
that's right he built it in his newly converted and reinforced loft!!.
When asked how he said - "it comes to bits". I'm not sure if he meant
the vehicle or the loft! but i did the neighbourly thing and smiled
encouragingly, mostly in an attempt to try to avoid the look of
utter horror that i felt.
One of
his passions is high voltages. He has a shed one particular shed that
has 7 Oscillators in it and enough equipment for Dr
Frankenstein to make the complete cast of friends.
After
much probing i discovered the plan is to use the dumper truck/ vehicle to
dig a hole for an ornamental pond - maybe you should read lake. Now as he
does this, he is levelling out another area of his garden with the excavated
soil. Which area? The area under his shed (no... not the one that glows
with so many volts). He jacks up this shed and stores the earth underneath it!!
(Still with me??)
Unfortunately
there's a fly in the ointment. (not to mention the rhino sized defect of the
whole bloody scheme!)... Its the runway that masquerades as their patio
(see next blog entry) has reduced his garden size a bit, in fact, so
much so that he needs a new shed and the only way to fit it in with the scheme
of things and without using one of the farm fields....... is to
build it over the pond on stilts!!! I kid you not!!!!
Now
there's some pictures I am looking forward to.........
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