Okay... now i'm worrying! what 'if' the enjoyment and contentment I'm feeling at the moment is partially based on an unspoken pleasure that a) I'm not the one suffering right now and that I can remain unaffected because of that distance - or - b) I dont care as much as I thought I did - or worse of all - c) I'm experiencing the macabre human state of relishing the ill fortunes of others??
Last night I was working in a very small rural village... I've worked there before and on those occasions I've rarely seen a soul. Even in daylight the streets are tired and sleepy... But as I was leaving late at night the caretaker let me out the building and issued me a kindly warning to 'be careful, cos there's lots of folk about t'night'. I asked why that was (sorta expecting to be told that there was a village event that had just finished)... he smiled gravely and said 'the auld smiddy was on fire'... I returned his smile without really understanding and headed back to my car.
I wandered to my car marvelling at how many couples and small groups of individuals were milling around. I could see over the tops of some cottages thick billowing clouds of smoke... the end of the road I was walking along was blocked by a police car. Having gotten into my car I didnt expect to see much else as I was heading in a different direction, but still the crowds and cars were appearing. It was like rush hour traffic!! ... or a scene from the league of gentleman... amazing. I even got stuck in a traffic jam trying to leave the village!...
As I was driving home and later that night I was thinking about what this says about us humans.... I can understand folks who slow down to have a look as they pass by a road accident scene.... it's a by-the-way linger glance that could be brushed away with thoughts of concern for those involved.... but what I'd seen was very different. It definitely wasn't 'by the way'... Those party goers had put their shoes and coats on... then jumped into their cars or started walking with the absolute intention of looking upon the misery of some poor person and family.... What does that say about human nature??
I remember a quote from Pride and Prejudice "For what do we live, but to make sport for our neighbours, and laugh at them in our turn?"... Altho' I've never considered it before, it seems that Jane Austen shared my uncharitable view of fellow humans and invited others to ponder a similar question in her novel. I wonder how many have taken her invite over the years...or like myself didn't dig too deep.
I have been left with an awful feeling that as unpleasant as I found the actions of these villagers... I can't shake off the uncomfortable question 'Am I any different simply because I dont have to go far to gaze upon my friends misfortunes?...
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