Holiday Diary -

Tuesday 7 April 2008.12:61
I awoke and contemplated moving. I decided it would be too energetic to move, and reckoned it would be sensible to pace myself for some excitement later, so I went back to sleep.

13:86
I went into the living room and rested on the sofa. Tired from resting I made a cup of tea and, too tired to lift it to my mouth; I imagined my drinking it and fell into a deep coma.

15:-1
I looked out of my window and, conscious of the forecast stormy weather, I went back to sleep.

Tomorrow 6:00
I awoke to find a tumultuous storm raining down and flooding the farm track. Within 10 minutes my whole house was floating on a tide of distraught neighbours and acid rain. I hastily lashed together all my bed sheets and made make shift sails. Threw my children out of the window... to lighten the load...

The next Day
After waking from a nightmare filled sleep I looked out of the window and noticed that i had indeed missed my first day back at work... and was heading towards France. Quickly I fashioned a stripy top and a string of onions out of a bicycle clip, some string.. and 2 table legs.

As I headed towards the French shore, I prepared myself for the worst. Luckily I knew the French language like I knew my own and that was good as I was need it ain't I yes!!!!!

The sea was rough but with my extensive knowledge of seafaring....... I careered into a fishing boat. The captain was a nice man who fed me while warning of the impending doom which awaited me when I finally reached the beach at Le Havre, his warning in mind, I instantly - did nothing.

Thank god the holidays are over... I'm exhausted.....!!