It's a Family Affair

It's looming, dark and ominous. A shadow of a big while elephant following me around. Stalking me. The pressure is hard to resist and the part of me that wants to please others is on the verge of mutiney.

Things have never been that great between my family members and get-togethers take a terrific toll on me. I go into a funk that sometimes lasts for days. It's not that they're not good people, because they are - individually. But collectively they morph into a horror version of the Adams family. Hard to imagine huh? Try dinning with them! Unsurprisingly, in order to avoid this I avoid them. And this usually works well, as they appear to avoid me

The problem is that its my birthday soon and there in lies the source of the pressure. Family conventions are the stuff that bonds families and there is an expectation that we 'ought' to celebrate together. We are family after all... Added into the mix is the fact that this is my 40th birthday which adds another layer of pressure.

Without anyone saying a word I can hear their silent plans screaming 'party... party... PARTY!' And if I'm honest the idea scares the beejesus out of me. I've been explicit - NO PARTY. (least that they know about) After three months of phone calls, I think the message has permeated.

But it seems the pressure has mounted again... 'what about a family meal?' We could go ... say, suggestions suggestions suggestions.... Perfect... no?' - NO!

I know they all frown at me for not taking the part written for me in our family movie. And worse still - all I want for my birthday is a dishwasher. Not exactly the sorta gift one ought to be hoping for I guess... so i suppose I'll just have to pretend to be delighted with whatever sparkles and frills are provided for me and secretly dream of dishwashers!

Ah families