Fine Tuning Frequency

Social conduct and patterns have me foxed. I cannot claim to be socially adept mostly cos its not even plausible. Tho' sometimes in moments of madness, I think I'm getting a handle on situations,.. of people... but it doesn't last, the belief crumbles under the weight of their pretence, only to reveal moments, hours or days later that in fact all I was doing was duping myself.. honesty died and social convention buried it!

I dont understand what's is so scary about honesty, so scary that most (if not all) folks I know squirrel away themselves, never to be seen beyond fleeting glimpses? It makes everyone feel foolish for being open, laying themselves open to being vulnerable. But its good to care ... isn't it?.

.....and so you see other people remain a mystery to me... I try so hard to see their agenda, understand what it is they prefer and minimise my intrusion upon them.... It's all such hard work that I'm left exhausted and as foxed as I was before I started. Sometimes I get so preoccupied by this that I forget to ask myself 'Does it matter?'.

We all have our own individual sound, vibration, voice or music. (whatever word you like to describe it) In some people it's very apparent... they are bouncy and vervaceous, the kind who make you smile by just being close to them. At the opposite end of the spectrum is those who like to live under a cloud of gloom (if only they didn't feel the need to share it!!)... and many lying somewhere in-between..... it's the thing that makes us uniquely ourselves (yet inextricably part of the whole rich tapestry of life to coin a well worn phrase).

This personal essence gets covered over, clouded and drowned out by so many things. Apparently, people who vibrate at higher frequencies are more likely to have greater success. (and no prizes for guessing that's why we smile and feel happy jst to be in their company)... And that once you start moving at a faster tempo, maintaining a steady rate is easier because of momentum. The key is to use a blast of energy to overcome inertia and then you're like a runaway train. (The faster you move, the more energy you have. The faster you move, the more you get done and the more effective you feel. The faster you move, the more experience you get and the more you learn. The faster you move, the more competent and capable you become... woo wooooo ....)

But recently this has all begun to pray on my mind... weighing me down in a way that makes it difficult for me to be creative. So instead of exhausting myself in a conundrum of figuring other people out or trying to reach someone else's ideals... I've decided to peel away dead skin ..... shake loose the dross... shrug off advertisements and cultural programming.... kick the opinion of others habit..... grind up preconceived notions and blow the dust to the winds. I want to find my own frequency!!