Love Hurts

The holidays are definitely over, my oldest goes back to uni tomorrow and helping him pack the disparate content of his bedroom floor into one tiny suitcase, made way for a very puzzling conversation. I asked if he is ready for his own space again, to see his friends and to get back into a routine of being awake during daylight hours.

He nodded seriously and said 'Yeah, I'm looking forward to the peace. You talk so much I don't think anyone would believe how much that is. You never shut up 'cos even when you're not talking you're singing... stupid random words and lines from different songs all mushed up together. You're SOOOO annoying'.

I smiled and nodded along with him. No point denying the truth, I simply added, 'You know you'll miss me', and we both started to grin. It's an old joke between us from a time last year when he foolishly admitted that when he's spending time with his dad he misses my company. Now when I'm persistently repetitive and relentlessly irritating him on purpose and he's on the verge of anger we have a natural break for any tension - I just have to say 'This is why you miss me, right' and we both erupt into laughter. The older he gets the more sophisticated his replies, most memorably 'You're walking evidence of care in the community and you have the brain capacity of a squashed apricot'.

It's such a wonderful feeling to know that I've played a part in raising such a confident, witty chap, who despite finding me 'annoying' also tells me I'm the funniest, creative and most spontaneous person he knows. I miss him more than I will ever tell him and each time he leaves I'm reminded that my time with my boys was only borrowed.