I’ve been a single parent for the last 7 years, enduring the burden of being a stereotypical siphon on the financial purse strings of the Great British Taxpayer for as long. You could say I’m a veteran scapegoat. After watching The Great British Waste Menu aired on 18 August on BBC one, I quit.
Usually, I’m too busy earning money to pay for my stake in this Great British Nation to register any flush of indignation I feel when noticing Britain’s transition from a democratic to an irony state.
My stiff upper life is under threat of curling like a rejected lettuce leaf. Don’t get me wrong the concept of the programme was interesting, in that it highlighted the problem of food wastage in the UK and I find this in its self laudable. However, the tone of the programme and commentaries reeked like the rubbish bins the chefs rooted through. The inference that the Great British Public has too high consumer expectations has loosened my tight lips.
I am by no means oblivious to our privileged lifestyle, but frankly I refuse to feel guilty for my individual actions when there are larger issues at play which slip under the radar of media scrutiny. It surely can’t be just me that is finding it increasingly difficult to belly down the satirical pie being served up with a garnish of our own naive misconceptions.
I watched the four competing chefs peddle the idea that food saving and therefore waste reduction could easily be done, if only the public just tried a little harder. As the credits rolled, my guilt struck. How silly I thought, if only I had thought of it before being shamed by this TV programme.
I’d have surely jumped into my refrigerated van, filled with fuel for which I’ve happily paid 60% tax, in order that I might spend a day away from my usual employment to spread, essential fossil fuel emissions around the countryside to foraging for free or cheap salvaged seasonal ingredient (all sprayed liberally with no choice, free with every purchase pesticides and chemicals), to rustle up a gastronomic delight that has to be prepared and eaten that same day, without the aid of high-tech food safety checking equipment so that my family can bask in the self righteousness of our new frugal lifestyle - all the while ignoring the fuel consumption, flagrant overuse of my road tax allocation and wage less day sacrificed as homage to the ideology.
On second thoughts, perhaps I’ll take the bus next time. Paying excessive ticket prices for a poor public service which doesn’t seem to offer me any discount, reflecting the fact that I’ve subsided the service with my non-voluntary taxes. Travelling routes prescribed by a commercial company reporting annual profits higher than my own annual pay increase this year, in the vain hope that it happens to run past food scavenge venues more than once a day.
It’s hard not resorting to bitter ranting and pointing my own ironic finger when I thinking about how much the public in Britain is expected to keep giving and saving and how little they complain about those expectations.
It is increasingly hard for the average Joe to slow down long enough to think about the irony behind these cultural expectations. Take the bucket emptying tax (otherwise known as the Council tax). The average household pays £100 per month to have their rubbish bins collected? I say rubbish bins because I am reminded by my bin collectors that ‘if it ain’t in the bin, it ain’t getting taken away’. So I pay £50 per visit to have as much refuse as I can squeeze into a wheelie bin removed. On top of this I am expected to separate my own waste before even putting it into the wheelie bin to save the environment. This means that I do half the work and still pay. Rumour has it, that some Local Authorities around Britain just dump the lovingly collected recycled waste into the same landfill as the non-recyclable waste. The irony doesn’t stop there because based on my own local authority it’s cheaper to have a large piece of household waste removed. I can have up to two items removed for £35. Bargain! All I need is two massive rubbish containers retailing for less than a fiver; an opening for some dragons den investment perhaps?
What irks me the most about the whole ‘waste’ issue is my lack of options in the matter. As a consumer I have little choice in the volume and nature of packaging that comes with my shopping. The cost of which is factored into the overall price I pay for the goods. So I have no choice but to pay once because it comes attached to my produce and then I pay again to have the packaging removed from my house. And if I don’t separate it out for recycling I’m made to feel guilty for not being responsible, when manufacturers and retailers refuse to take any responsibility and the same government that pays lip service to environmental issues does nothing to share out accountability.
The most entertaining part of the programme was that the producers had invited representatives from Supermarkets to dine. The pointlessness of which made me laugh. Everyone knows that Supermarket are rip offs with more spin than the major political parties. There was a quiet suggestions they introduce an ‘eat today section’. Surely anyone with any business acumen knows this would be consumer genocide. Retailers know that cash strapped shoppers previously forced through lack of choice to purchase a tray of juicy tomatoes (presented in a free plastic tray) at the normal retail price would obviously opt to buy from the cheaper ‘eat today’ selection. The result of this frugal move would mean they’d actively be pouring profits down the drain instead of putting it in the bin.
Where else can supermarket spin be seen clearer than the concept of BOGOF and BOGOHP? Knowing that supermarkets are in the business of making money it is therefore obvious that this is not an altruistic money loss idea. The price advertised for one item (with another free or half price) is inflated to cover the actual cost of two items – consumer spends more money than they intended and the supermarket makes a modest profit. Should a cash strapped consumer opt to just buy the one they need without the other at half price and the supermarket makes significant profit at the expense of British people who can least afford it. So how come more people aren’t saying Bog-off to the supermarket hype?
It’s not just the cash strapped shopper that’s being ripped off. Money matters to us all and most of us are responsible with our cash. I know my conscious is clear in terms of the economic climate. Each year I earn a little more, I am taxed both directly and indirectly more, I am spending more and as the programme just pointed out I’m wasting more. So I’m left with the question – how come I have to pay 20% tax next year? I didn’t do anything wrong. I know, I know what you’re thinking. I’ve read the papers, sifted through the newspapers (all with extra supplements full of adverts that companies have paid to produce that I have to pay £50 per visit to be uplifted) but it doesn’t negate the facts that bad poor business management by inept fat cats has gotten us where we are today.
With the legislative calls for equality and in the interest of fairness I feel that it is somewhat unfair that if I get into debt, I should be expected to pay it back myself. There ought to be an opportunity for me to present my case to the local authority claiming that if they don’t help me sort out my debt then they will suffer as I shall not be able to pay my council bin emptying tax which will mean less locally derived income. Or I might appeal to the government, pointing out that my debt is really just a single person’s portion of the country’s overall debt and not really just mine. By rights I should be able to claim the same financial support that our country’s financial institute have been offered. After all I was only doing my duty in spending the country out of recession why should I be penalised for not being very good at it. It’s not like I’ve been adequately trained for the job.
It is quite obvious that my debt is really part of the whole country’s deficit and should therefore be absorbed back into the main debt figure to be paid by those people too apathetical to notice or care. And in the continued spirit of equal treatment and because of my mis-management of my national debt allocation I should probably be ‘let go’ with a comparable handsome financial gratuity awarded to those money mis-managers before me and never expected to contribute to the financial well-being of this Great Nation again.
Upon which I will then begrudgingly castigate myself from society and henceforth live the alternative life style adopted by many travelling people. Rooting, hunting and foraging for seasonal produce whilst enduring the media reported distain at having quit.
